Researchers have determined that contrary to popular belief, dolphins are rather stupid.   A group of 25 bottlenose dolphins failed 11 exercises designed to test their basic cognitive abilities and reasoning skills.   One researcher said, "The dolphins were incapable of recognizing and repeating simple gestures."   "Their non-verbal communications were limited to a rapid constriction and expansion of the blowhole, various incomprehensible fin motions, and heavy tremors while they lay prone on the lab table."   The dolphins' response to standard tests were limited to three types: "a nonsensical, labored wheezing, an earsplitting barrage of unintelligible high-pitched shrieks, and in extreme cases, a shrill, distressed scream."   Researchers tested the dolphin echolocation to see if dophins could find landmines but were disappointed to discover that in most cases the dolphins were only able to find mines when they were placed on top of them.   The dolphins were also completely unable to "use a map to pinpoint their location" or "complete a simple obstacle course and wall climb."   Researchers noted "their learning curve was actually negative."   And the study concluded these are the reasons dolphins have never developed agriculture or harnessed the power of fire.

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